so, I’m currently sitting in my doctor’s office waiting room in the saturday “acute illness” clinic. (that’s code word for all the lazy bastards who didn’t take the initiative to schedule an appointment during the week like other normal people…) a few observations/thoughts:

1. ok…I lied…this has nothing to do with the doctor’s office…but how about those razorbacks!! (this is where you can internally cue the razorback fight song in your head…) in the end, dick saved the day… (please get your freaking minds out of the gutter, people…)

2. it’s very interesting (a.k.a. annoying) to observe moms with their kids. a couple observations:
a.) naturally, every mom thinks their kid is the most important one in the room. I’m not saying this in a good way… memo to moms: your snotty-nosed kid is only special to you! seriously, as I write, there are 3 moms that are visibly upset when they walk out and call someone besides their kid’s name. chill out moms…you’re kid’s just another brick in the wall…
b.) the waiting room is not your kid’s personal jungle gym. I’m not talking 2 or 3 year olds… I’m sitting across from a girl who’s at least 10 and you would think this is an audition for “so you think you can dance” for sickly people… attention mom: get off your cell phone and show your pre-teen how to connect her rump with the chair…

3. oh, the blatant, inappropriate public, small space cell phone usage. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that your 30-minute conversation about tammy’s Christmas party can wait until you’re not sitting next to me and 20 other sick, irritable people. hang it up there, buffy…

4. oh no… I’m definitely not done with inappropriate cell phone observations… I’m consistently amazed by people who refuse to put their phones on silent and then have those ridiculous 300 decibel marimba or cracked out xylophone ringtones. that alone is bad enough, but then it’s always those people who, when they get the phone call, they have to slowly pull out there phone, open it, stare at it for 30 minutes while it rings, and THEN they decide to answer it. oh my gosh… no lie…it’s literally happening right now with a guy sitting behind me… oh wow, his ringtone is some credence clearwater song (of course, all garbled and distorted…)

5. they just told someone that walked that there is a 2-hour wait. the person then proceeded to ask if he could go run some errands and have them call him “when it’s his turn.” when the woman nicely said “no,” the guy proclaimed to everyone in here that “dr. rollins’ office people will send you a text message and he has a nicer waiting room.” is this real life?

6. well, another cell phone ringtone blarer…I’m not sure, but it sounded like some circa 1987 r&b action… classy…

7. I love the “whisperers” in here whose whisper is most peoples’ normal talking voice. if you don’t want other people to know that “that boy over there is wearing sandals in the winter,” you’re probably going to need to write it, text it or tell them when you leave. look, I am one of those normal volume whisperers, so I feel your pain… but you’ve got to work that out…

8. oh wow… I’ve got to call myself out here… I’m here because what might be sinus infection. basically, my nose has been running like a faucet. so, I’ve just been sitting here typing away on the ol’ iphone when I suddenly realize that the ol’ mustache is feeling a little moist under problematic right nostril. I’m gonna be forced to pull the ol’ hand wipe and then subsequent inconspicuous hand on jeans wipe… stay classy, ryan…

alright, time to wipe. peace out from the doc’s office.